pathetic...

haiz...fail my resit again....
somehow very heart broken....
when i 1st heard the news of my failure....the feeling is like God has leave you alone in this lonely and sinful world...
this is all because of my sucky attitude of not wanting to do my best in the exam...haiz..
i was wondering is i can just do "nyam nyam" past it...
but the reality is cruel....or should i say i didn't do my best...haiz...my bad...
anyways...after hearing i fail the test, another more devastating news was that the ptptn loan resist to lean the loan to me because of my result not passing 2.5...
i wana cry but i cnt...because crying cnt solve anything...
My mom told me the news of the ptptn loan, she was crush....her heart was broken just because of my selfishness....
my pathetic behaviors....
and my lazyness and giving tans of excuses on my friend dragging my time, so i cnt study and stuff.....
haiz...
sad...
sorrow...
but i thank God for one thing...
that is that he is still the God of caring, kind and faithful....
i knw he will continue to give me strength and give me comfort when i'm down...
but for now..all i wana do is study like never before....
(i gotta keep telling myself that) shit...can u see how pathetic i am....?
haiz...